Guys and Dolls – 8/6/08

For box office information, click on the title of this review.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: at the conclusion of Guys and Dolls last weekend, there was much audiencal (new word; deal with it) whooping and hollering. Many of them proved they could clap and stand at the same time. A great time was had by most.

Good stuff: Things are really perking up in the musical community as far as orchestras go. This is the third in a row top notch pit that I’ve heard. And this was the area I was dreading: several years ago, a Summer Place production which shall remain nameless attempted one of the most beautiful, gentle scores in Broadway history. And it was completely murdered by the orchestra, which should have been tried for terrorism.

Guys and Dolls features the best pit to play there in ten years. They are:
Jim Molina (conductor) – fabulous job.
Justin Kono (associate conductor/drums & percussion)
Suzanne Gillen (flute, piccolo, clarinet, alto sax)
Joe Sanchez (clarinet, alto sax)
Will Brocker (clarinet, tenor sax)
Katie Legel (tenor sax)
Julie Fischer (bass clarinet, bari sax)
Jeff Schweitzer (trumpet 1)
Jeff Kienstra (trumpet 2)
Allison Kane (keyboard 1)
Kelly Hutchins (keyboard 2 – strings)
Kymber Gillen (violin)
Sarah Zilonis (cello)

And Ted Waltmire did a terrific job as vocal director. The choral stuff was sharp and on target.

The godawful stairs from Arsenic and Old Lace were still there, but at least here they served a purpose conducive to the show. The show was briskly paced, the scene changes seemed to go quite smoothly and there was never any point when I was moved to look at my watch, which sometimes happens at community productions of older, longer musicals. It really moved nicely, nicely. Kudos to the director (Timothy Mullen) and to the tech crews.

Singing: The leads all did quite well by Mr. Loesser’s music, and the chorus was extremely strong. Standouts were Christina Romano (Sarah Brown), whose voice was gorgeous, Laurie Kometz Edwalds (Adelaide) who had a belt that could sandblast buildings (note: this is a good thing) and Rick Kominski & Luke Donia as Nicely and Benny. Gerry Riva as Arvide made More I Cannot Wish You not only bearable but moving, which is an amazing feat.

Musically and pace-wise, the show sparkled and is highly recommended. Comedically, not so much. There was, as stated above, much applause. But hardly any laughs. Now, we can do the lazy-ass theatre excuse of, “What do you expect with all those corny old jokes?” Except that the corny old jokes work if you play them right. Example:

I have seen Steve Zeidler before. He is a terrific performer. A very talented man. Nathan Detroit (Kelly Markwell) is introduced to Big Jule (Zeidler), who has several punchlines before they move on to other business. Before each punchline, Zeidler thinnnnnks about it, puffing on his cigar, so the beat is:
Straight line.
Puff.
Puff.
Puff.
Punchline.
Straight line.
Puff.
Puff.
Puff.
Punchline.
…until you’re ready to take the cigar and do rude things with it.
Hey, you know what happens when you take a straight line and a punchline and put in a pause you could drive a truck through? Right! No laughs! They’re called punchlines because you have to punch them. And it’s not Zeidler’s fault – in Act Two, he hits his lines on the head and he’s very good. So the cigar crap was a choice. And a bad one.

And before moving on to the main complaint, let’s take four little ones:

1. There is a bit added with Joey Biltmore which is one of the most stupid and obnoxious things ever stuck in a musical. Not funny. No laughs.

2. “From the moment we kissed tonight, that’s the way I’ve just got to behave!” Interesting, since they haven’t kissed since scene two – and back then she slapped him.

3. If you’re singing one of the most famous scores in history, paraphrasing is probably a bad idea, Sky, Nicely and Adelaide. Or Ted Waltmire, the vocal director. When I want you to correct Frank Loesser, I’ll ask you. You’ve had eight to ten weeks to learn the words.

4. Musicals occasionally have little 16 bar encores on hit songs that function as a segue into the next part of the scene. Here, dumb little encores have been put in, even if the audience hasn’t even thought of calling for any. They just repeat the last 16 bars verbatim, as if your DVD has skipped.

ACTING.

ARRGGHH!!!! I know that mounting a show like this is a huge undertaking, but Jesus Christ, pay a little attention to the characters, their personalities and motivations.

Nathan is being cleaned out by Big Jule in the sewer scene and making wisecracks as his money disappears. Markwell kind of breezily spits out the punchlines, with no emotional impact. Nathan is tense, exhausted, put-upon and those aren’t wisecracks – it’s Nathan expressing growing anger in a way that won’t get him shot. It has to build to the point where he stands up to Big Jule. Here they were just thrown away. The fact that it’s a comedy doesn’t mean that the characters aren’t serious about what they want. Otherwise, it’s just a cartoon.

Markwell and Romano both do the most selfish thing an actor can possibly do in a two person scene – they refuse to look the other person in the eyes. Mullen gives to Romano. Edwalds plays off of Markwell. Neither of them gives anything back. There’s no give and take. Once Adelaide tells Nathan about her lies to her mother, he has to zero in on her and keep hounding her – it’s what helps to drive the scene. Nothing. He’s looking at his shoes.

Sarah is not afraid of Sky. She’s aggressive, not passive. Look – the Havana scene is completely unbelievable if there isn’t a spark there from the beginning that they are both trying to resist. It’s never about two people finally falling in love, it’s about two people finally admitting it. That’s where the tension is. And this is a director thing. Romano and Markwell both seemed like extremely good actors; Romano in particular had a lot of zing in her. But they needed a director to say, “Get your eyes off the table.” Both these actors are fully capable of playing with other people instead of playing with themselves. And that’s not an accidental joke. Being involved with your note cards or your tie is not as interesting as being involved with the person across the stage from you.

Lastly, going on from this point, is the Bullshit Musical Blocking. “Say, why don’t you tell me how you feel, Big Strong Leading Man?” “Say, don’t mind if I do!” Song starts, leading man goes ten feet away and faces out to the audience. ARRGGHHH. My Time of Day. Sky is singing to Sarah! He’s letting her into his life. Look her in the goddamned eyes. “I’ve never been in love before, but you’re two miles away, could you please semaphore?”

I’ll Know – Sky and Sarah are singing about how they could never go for each other, yet they’re getting closer and closer and it culminates in a kiss – which she slaps him for afterwards but doesn’t try to break while it’s happening. He doesn’t just charge her like a friggin’ bull and plant one on (as he does in this production) – it’s tension that builds throughout the song. This director has no concept of or interest in things like that. He is far more adept at moving the crowds and the scenery than in moving any emotions, either from the audience or the cast.

So anyway – if you’d like to hear the songs done quite well and with gusto, head on out to the Summer Place. For once I was disappointed that Sarah and Adelaide only had one number together.

This is not a horrible production. It’s 65% wonderful. Let me mention the chorus again – very good and strong. The leads have great voices. And you might not be as picky as I am. But I saw a lot of acting potential there that wasn’t delivered, so it was disappointing. So go for the music. The voices are terrific and the band is even better.

Arsenic and Old Lace – 7/17/08

For box office information, click on the title of this review.

As I left the performance of Arsenic and Old Lace at Naperville Central High School, one very elderly lady said to her companion, “Weren’t the performances superb?” And I wanted to bang my head on the wall. An Arsenic and Old Lace where the sharpest comic timing onstage belongs to the ingénue is a troubled production.

Arsenic and Old Lace concerns two elderly women who poison lonely old men and bury them in the cellar. Their nephew Mortimer, a drama critic, finds out about their hobby and desperately tries to (A) put a stop to it and (B) protect them while keeping his fiancée Elaine from finding out what’s going on. Complicating things are his brothers: Teddy, who firmly believes himself to be Teddy Roosevelt and Jonathan, a homicidal maniac who looks like Boris Karloff, thanks to his inebriated plastic surgeon/sidekick Dr. Einstein.

I have seen Lisa Barber (Elaine) in a couple of shows. The state of women’s roles in community theatre being what it is, she is continually being wasted in ingénue roles when she should be getting Carol Burnett parts. The woman is funny and when it comes to timing, she has a clue. Will somebody please hand her Noises Off and get it over with? Put her in a farce part with some teeth in it – she’ll tear the place apart. She has the best comic timing in this production.

The aunts are played by Deanna Norman (Aunt Abby) and Marianne Bowles (Aunt Martha). They take some getting used to because they have been told to speak in annoying “old lady voices”. But both women are very talented and, especially when playing off of each other, they’re pretty funny. They have a good chemistry together. Bowles in particular gets a wonderful gleam in her eye at the thought of poisoning a guest.

Officer O’Hara (George McArdle) is funny and very energetic. He should have had a larger role. As one of the nephews.

Jonathan (James Turano) is problematic. Jonathan’s menace is quiet and extremely scary. He dominates by force of personality – he doesn’t get physical. It is (duh) a Boris Karloff part, not Edward G. Robinson. Turano, who gave a brilliant performance as Salieri in Amadeus a couple of years ago, plays the part like a pitbull locked in a pantry. Wearing a distracting fake limp and some of the worst makeup in theatrical history, he puts his friendly arms around the aunts, crunching them a bit, then knocks Aunt Abby out of his way when breaking the pose. Sorry, but that sucks. It’s too much. He’s a big guy – he doesn’t have to get physical with people. We know he’s dangerous.

Larry Lipskie as Dr. Einstein is pretty good. The actor playing Teddy is not. Teddy is written to be played over the top. This Teddy looks at the floor a lot.

Mortimer. Sigh. Mortimer is the engine that drives the play; and it’s a thankless job. He has to race through the show at top energy, hit every gag on the head and set up shots for the other team members. This Mortimer is (to put it delicately) delicate. He has no force of personality and no clue on how to deliver jokes. His comedic engine won’t go over 30 mph. Basic projection is a problem.

Bradley Bankemper, playing Lieutenant Rooney, is a pretty good actor, but nobody told him that he’s supposed to be an older cop in the early 1940s. The fringy red beard he wears (A) was not seen in that period except on Egyptian spies in Peter Lorre movies and (B) made him look like a hairy twelve year old.

Pet peeve: mispronounced slang. From one of the cops: “Look at that pus. He looks like Boris Karloff!” Not “pus.” “Puss.” Meaning “face”, not “thick bodily fluid”.

And we’re getting to the two most unfortunate aspects of the production. Scott Bishop’s direction showed no sense of pace whatsoever. His idea of pace is to have actors step on laughs to keep things moving. When saying exit lines, instead of being at the door and exiting as the line ends, actors are ten feet away, say the line, then the next actor has to wait while the first actor crosses and exits. Lines that are meant to be slam-dunked with window seat slams are completely mistimed.

• Bishop blocks people to stand or sit directly behind the person they are talking to, although they have miles of room onstage.
• The bit with Mr. Spinalzo’s shoe is dropped.
• When Teddy blows the bugle, Einstein and Jonathan don’t spill their drinks – so there’s no reason for them not to drink them later.
• Jonathan opens Einstein’s medical bag to show Mortimer how he’s going to be tortured. First thing out of the bag? A cat o’nine tails whip – the latest in medical equipment. Then a turkey baster; my, how horrifying. You’re supposed to be setting up real suspense at that point. Get a clue.
• This is typical pacing in this production:

JONATHAN: That’s easily taken care of. All I need is one more. Just one more.

(Door opens.)

(Mortimer saunters in.)

(Shuts door.)

(Slowly turns to the others.)

MORTIMER: Well, here I am!

(Lights out)

“Here I am” indeed. Jesus Christ. It’s the scene closer – get the timing right:

JONATHAN: (as Mortimer enters) Just one more.

MORTIMER: Well, here I am!

(Door shuts during the laugh. Lights out)

Last but least: the set designer is uncredited in the program, which was a smart move. Many theatres cannot afford elaborate sets and so you give them a break for ingenuity. Or a show doesn’t require a realistic set, so imagination is employed. Arsenic and Old Lace requires a dead-real Victorian house. And Summer Place can afford that. Instead, they built the ugliest, cheapest and all around worst set for a comedy I have seen in my three centuries of playgoing. The doors aren’t strong enough to slam or even knock on solidly. There is a railing leading up to the landing, but no railing around it. There are giant picture frames hanging all over the place with nothing in them. It doesn’t look expressionistic – it looks retarded. They are hanging by wires in the air, so every time a door closes, the frames are gone with the wind.

But worst of all are the stairs: giant stairs bisect the main playing area into two levels – always a wonderful idea when most of the show consists of people having to dash across the room, right? Or when two of the leads are older women in long dresses and heels? The stairs chop any cross-stage dashes in two. It is the dumbest fucking idea for a comedy since Rob Schneider was put on a payroll. Normally I try to give community theatres a break – but there are theatre companies that would give their corporate eye-teeth for the kind of facilities Summer Place has access to. Wasting them in this manner is criminal.

If you have to see this, see it for Lisa Barber, Marianne Bowles, Deanna Norman and George McArdle. If you have to.